When is summer starting? I'm not a geologist or a botanist, or any ist, but I know this: July in Ohio is supposed to be hotter than shit. With stifling humidity and no rain at all. Did we move to London? Did someone forget to flip a switch somewhere? High of 71 today? Seriously? It's supposed to be too hot to lay in a deckchair today,,,weather that makes us stay in the pool. This is a conspiracy. Somewhere, somebody is hiding something from us. They can't hide the weather, so they're all just acting like this is fine. Like the whole "off by 30 degrees" thing just ain't no big deal. What are they hiding from us and why did it take me to point this out? This is bigger than you and me. This is the biggest cover up ever. Who's to blame? What's happening? Nuclear meltdown? The sun is losing it's power? All the plant life and vegetation in the world as we know it will die off. The fruit and vegetable supply will wittle away. Cucumbers that survive will be sold on the black market for $30 each. Broccoli will be $40/lb. People will be hoarding those cans of canned new potatoes and soft asparagus like family heirlooms. Who is responsible? How high up does this go? This might lead all the way to the White House? You have to ask yourself 3 questions: Who is powerful enough to extinguish the sun? Who stands to gain from this? Who stands to profit the most from the loss of solar power? It's the oil people. George Bush has done it to us again! How am I always the first to figure these things out? How is it me? Um, does Bush still have access to those silent black helicopters? There's one behind my house right now. Um I'm starting to feel like Mel Gibson in that Movie Conspiracy Theory. I'm so paranoid, I finally concocted a theory that's correct. And now "they" want me dead for it. I'd say more now, but I can't. I have to go unlock my coffee and tapioca pudding. George Bush killed the sun. Remember you heard it here first.
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