Insomniacs lay awake in their sad beds, staring at the ceiling, thinking about life and death and all the dark details that lie between the two, cursing the night and dreading the morning. And the same insomniacs are prone to anxiety attacks for many of the same reasons they can't sleep. And one of the things that contributes to anxiety and or panic attacks is caffeine. So extrapolate that to me and my situation. Once in the past two weeks i've had caffeine and it caused an immediate panic attack. So I can't sleep at night unassisted, yet can't stay awake during the day. And now without the aid of caffeine, I find myself gliding through a haze of constant awakedness, just shades above the point of actual sleep. And so I roll through the billowy days of the summer of 2009, not quite rested, not quite asleep. So what now? Sugar? Maybe some sort of stronger narcotic, legal or not? Maybe. Although pills aren't exactly my style, and may be a bit too 80's, even for this 80's nut. Who knows. I've been told I need to work on breathing, meditating and concentration. But, if you've met me, you know those three things don't come naturally to me. Uphill i tredge, nirvana will be mine. Rome wasn't built in a day. And if I don't see ya, good morning, good afternoon and goodnight!
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