I can't sit Indian Style. That's the one thing that I physically can't do. Ever since the hip replacement, I don't dare even try it. That's one position I don't think I'll ever try to make my leg go into. It's weird to think of things I'll never ever do again, but that's one of them. It's not a bad trade-off I guess. I get my leg back to how it's supposed to feel (for the most part) as a 39 year old human, but I won't sit Indian Style, probably ever again. Last summer I ran into Holly, my last girlfriend before I got married, and she said she'd run into my Mom, who told her about my hip replacement. She told me that her Dad had his hips replaced, and that he'd popped them out of the socket at some point. I don't want to do that. That could mess up my whole weekend.
But this has gotten me thinking about things i'll never do again. I remember when my Dad was so sick, his physician came to the hospital and told us his body was shutting down. He said he had eaten his last meal, and that he wouldn't get up again. And he didn't do either of those things ever again. I heard him say, "he's eaten his last meal" and the feeling inside me was the worst feeling I've ever felt. Of course when I heard it, I immediately thought that we needed a second opinion, and that Dad would be fine in a few days. Surely this Doc was a quack. But in the end, he was right, and Dad never got another chance to do anything for the last time. I remember that when Dad first got to the assisted living facility, I had lunch at Applebee's and got some chicken noodle soup to go, to bring to him. And when I presented it to him in his room, I said "i brought you some chicken noodle soup, because I thought you could use something other than hospital food". And his response was simply, "you're kidding". And i thought it was a weird response, and I've kept that with me these last five years since he's been gone. I remember wheeling him out of his room, into the big hallway to a kitchen style table, and him sitting there trying to eat the soup. I'm sure he only had a few bites. I'm sure they were good for him. I'm sure he took one or two more bites than he probably could handle, just because I was there with him, watching him, because he wanted to show his gratitude. And when he said he was finished, he fell asleep in the wheelchair at the table, and we wheeled him back to his bed. The orderlees got him back to his bed. That was the last time he ever had chicken noodle soup. The very last time. I feed my girls chicken noodle soup all the time, and every time I get out a Progresso Soup can, I think about my Dad and the last time he ever had Chicken Noodle Soup. I'm glad I served it to him, and I'm glad he ate some, and I'm glad he was coherent enought to enjoy a few bites of it.
But do you ever think about the last time you'll ever do something? My guess is that none of us think of things like that, unless it's due to a hangover or something alcohol related. "Lord, I'll never drink Jagermeister again" or "Lord, I'll never try to beer bong six beers again". I know I'll never sit indian style again. i know I'll never go a full day without thinking about my hip at least a hundred times. i know I'll never get to start a double play from third base, I know I'll never be the starting pitcher in any kind of baseball related game. I know I'll never do any kind of drugs again. But the world is wide open for everything else.
Wide open. Man, dig it. I have a billion and one opportunities to do something for the last time, and I'm not writing any of them off. I can do all of them for the first and last time. I can try, taste, experience, feel anything I want to for the first or last time for as many days as I have left on this green planet. i know i'll hate some things just as I know I'll love some things. But at least i know that I have the opportunity to do most of those things still. And when the i hear the footsteps of the grim reaper, and I know my time has come to leave this earth, I hope there's not too many things that I wish I hadn't done. I know there will be chicken noodle soup for me and for you and for everyone, to taste finally and forever. But I know my Dad was thankful for the soup I brought him that day. And I'm sure that neither he, nor I ever expected that to be his last. So i guess that knowing that i'll never sit Indian Style is just a cautionay tale, one that reminds me that life is about what we make of it, and not what we wish it could've been, or should've been. Because there's all kinds of things that I haven't tried for the first time, and I don't have any of my valuable time left on God's Green Earth to worry about what I've done for the last time. And by the way, knowing that you've done something for the last time doesn't mean that you're short for this world, it's just something that you can cross off your list, in order to get to the next thing in life. It doesn't have to be a bucket list, but rather, maybe just a to do list. So long Indian Style, hello sitting like a grown up.
But this has gotten me thinking about things i'll never do again. I remember when my Dad was so sick, his physician came to the hospital and told us his body was shutting down. He said he had eaten his last meal, and that he wouldn't get up again. And he didn't do either of those things ever again. I heard him say, "he's eaten his last meal" and the feeling inside me was the worst feeling I've ever felt. Of course when I heard it, I immediately thought that we needed a second opinion, and that Dad would be fine in a few days. Surely this Doc was a quack. But in the end, he was right, and Dad never got another chance to do anything for the last time. I remember that when Dad first got to the assisted living facility, I had lunch at Applebee's and got some chicken noodle soup to go, to bring to him. And when I presented it to him in his room, I said "i brought you some chicken noodle soup, because I thought you could use something other than hospital food". And his response was simply, "you're kidding". And i thought it was a weird response, and I've kept that with me these last five years since he's been gone. I remember wheeling him out of his room, into the big hallway to a kitchen style table, and him sitting there trying to eat the soup. I'm sure he only had a few bites. I'm sure they were good for him. I'm sure he took one or two more bites than he probably could handle, just because I was there with him, watching him, because he wanted to show his gratitude. And when he said he was finished, he fell asleep in the wheelchair at the table, and we wheeled him back to his bed. The orderlees got him back to his bed. That was the last time he ever had chicken noodle soup. The very last time. I feed my girls chicken noodle soup all the time, and every time I get out a Progresso Soup can, I think about my Dad and the last time he ever had Chicken Noodle Soup. I'm glad I served it to him, and I'm glad he ate some, and I'm glad he was coherent enought to enjoy a few bites of it.
But do you ever think about the last time you'll ever do something? My guess is that none of us think of things like that, unless it's due to a hangover or something alcohol related. "Lord, I'll never drink Jagermeister again" or "Lord, I'll never try to beer bong six beers again". I know I'll never sit indian style again. i know I'll never go a full day without thinking about my hip at least a hundred times. i know I'll never get to start a double play from third base, I know I'll never be the starting pitcher in any kind of baseball related game. I know I'll never do any kind of drugs again. But the world is wide open for everything else.
Wide open. Man, dig it. I have a billion and one opportunities to do something for the last time, and I'm not writing any of them off. I can do all of them for the first and last time. I can try, taste, experience, feel anything I want to for the first or last time for as many days as I have left on this green planet. i know i'll hate some things just as I know I'll love some things. But at least i know that I have the opportunity to do most of those things still. And when the i hear the footsteps of the grim reaper, and I know my time has come to leave this earth, I hope there's not too many things that I wish I hadn't done. I know there will be chicken noodle soup for me and for you and for everyone, to taste finally and forever. But I know my Dad was thankful for the soup I brought him that day. And I'm sure that neither he, nor I ever expected that to be his last. So i guess that knowing that i'll never sit Indian Style is just a cautionay tale, one that reminds me that life is about what we make of it, and not what we wish it could've been, or should've been. Because there's all kinds of things that I haven't tried for the first time, and I don't have any of my valuable time left on God's Green Earth to worry about what I've done for the last time. And by the way, knowing that you've done something for the last time doesn't mean that you're short for this world, it's just something that you can cross off your list, in order to get to the next thing in life. It doesn't have to be a bucket list, but rather, maybe just a to do list. So long Indian Style, hello sitting like a grown up.
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